New year, new journeys

Have you ever made a New Year’s resolution? Have you ever actually kept it? Well in 2016, I DID!

Did I lose 50lbs? No. Did I walk/run/exercise every day? No. More than I did before at least? No. Eat healthily all the time? Yes! Ok, probably not… but I also didn’t resolve to do those things because I knew I would fail. So what was my resolution? To not make any new resolutions! To not set myself up for failure in such a temporal way and then fall into the revolving trap that we all inevitably do – heaping shame/condemnation and pounds/inches back on – just to make the same resolution next year!

I’ve been through a lot in 2016… we have been in limbo and questioning so many issues, and it culminated in a DVT for me in October. Needless to say  I’m looking into 2017 and seeing it as a year of answers! And the Lord is faithful, I already have one! (More to come on that later!)

So I’m here to say, loud and proud, “I DID IT!” I kept my resolution from last year! No shame for me! And you know what? I plan on continuing the trend! Not as a resolution mind you… but as a promise to myself not to accept anything that says I am less than who God says I am. Adopted by His Sacrifice. Freed by His Victory. Saved by His Grace. Gifted with His Mercy.

For these Truths I am eternally grateful, and because of these I refuse to worry about the pounds… or put the inches, or the savings account, or the job, or whatever… in front of praising and worshipping my Abba Father.

So it’s a new year, and a new journey… of worship, of life in Christ, of treasuring my family and loving others as is worthy of the Almighty God. And maybe, just maybe, my heart will be “at home” again… even when I’m not.

When Time is not enough…

“Ok, I know it’s been a while,” says the long-lost-friend/absentee-parent/delinquent-child right before they ask you for something, right? But what are they really saying, and what are they really asking for?

Let me set this one up for you (since it’s been a while between posts… sorry!): I am a mom of three daughters, a high school math teacher, a part-time college professor, an ongoing Bible and education scholar, and a wife to the hardest working husband/daddy/college-student/friend/prayer-partner/music-minister I’ve EVER known. Suffice it to say, it is very easy for me to lose track of time. I tend to get caught up in whatever project I’m doing, whether it be paperwork, grading, reorganizing my craft table, or building Legos! Yes, I’m the parent that is still sitting on the floor in a pile of Legos hours after the kids are done building because I just haven’t quite finished yet. Just last night in fact, I was the last one to the dinner table (did I mention he’s also the cook? *squee!*), because I was trying desperately to find a way to build something with all of the leftover white bricks we have and I had almost completed it when supper was called!

It was awesome… White Tower, but that is not the point.

The point was that I started out spending time with my middle child, building Legos, then my youngest came over when the middle one was done, but by the end of the afternoon I was more caught up in the activity than my kids and the time was not enough. It went from being mommy-daughter time to Lego-time and I missed it! I missed them. I’m coming to the end of my two-week break before I have to start teaching summer sessions, and I feel like while it’s been restful for the most part, I’ve missed precious times with my girls when we could have had amazing imaginary adventures, or fun days at the park, or tea parties on the ceiling. Ok, so we have had a couple of those…

Girls must-stache some fun!

Girls must-stache some fun!

I suppose, although Time itself is infinite, it will never be enough. Let me then encourage you with what encourages me.

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God’s gift to man.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, 11-13 ESV)

To me, this means that all of my times, whether I feel the moments could have been better spent or not, are in God’s Hands and only He has the ability to make it beautiful. Only He can make my times enough. So to answer my earlier questions… I’m sorry, and will you forgive me?

 

 

Precious exhaustion and needed procrastination!

Precious exhaustion…

Yesterday’s adventures included shopping with Hannah to spend her last birthday Target gift card and groceries – gotta love saving $42 in coupons and free stuff with crazy meal deals! Had a blast! Then off to another store for some more goodies, and last to the mall with Elisabeth to shop with her birthday money and get some more free stuff from a couple of our favorite stores – yes, both 34 & 15yr olds like certain building blocks with little round knobs on top! Truly blessed and truly, preciously exhausted after the time with my family yesterday! At home, after a wonderful meal prepped by an awesome hubby, we all spent family night at the table building with these Blocks and creating much like our Heavenly Father did so long ago.

Needed procrastination…

Today, I think our Catherine will have some mommy time too! Believe it or not, she forgot she’d given me $20 to hold on to from her birthday money, so she has it to spend too, plus we still haven’t made it to Walmart… Tonight’s agenda has egg decorating, carrot cup-cake making, maybe more Blocks, or a movie while Eric is out and about!

My Bottom line: Spending individual time with my girls, and time together as a family, should always beat out the schedule, the grading projects, or other unnecessary obligations, and I will happily procrastinate in their favor ANY day!

Lesson learned…

We once valued our schedules more than each other, and it wasn’t until our Abba showed us His heart for our girls, for our family and home, that we realized our error. I was dead in our busy-ness, dying through loneliness, and forsaken by selfishness, BUT God in His infinite wisdom and mercy has chosen to resurrect the family He put together. Perfect timing!